the Alex Chronicles
by Blackscarf
Summary: Join Alex as he meets new people, goes new places, and fights a neverending battle with....the staff at Mc' Donalds. It's wacky, It's Zany, it's stupid. Read!
1. Default Chapter

The Alex Chronicles  
  
Alex Vs. The Duck  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Alex, anything related to Golden sun or Mc'Donalds and food items served there. I also do not own ducks. There is this one in my backyard in a pen though. I call him fluffy....moving on.  
  
By - S.Duck  
  
Narator: Alex wakes up. It's a beautiful mourning.  
  
Alex: Wow! What a beautiful mourning.  
  
Narator: Hey! I just said that!  
  
Alex: Shut up! I'm not supposed to hear you.  
  
Narator: Oh yeah. Alex takes a shower and eats some cereal. In the middle of his Ivan-O's, his Djinn, Mist and Shade come into the room. They have a little argument going on that started last night about which movie stars had chest implants.  
  
Shade: I think Britney Spears does.  
  
Mist: Nah. Those are real.  
  
Shade: Your only saying that because your a guy! Right Alex?  
  
Alex: Hmm....lemme think.....  
  
Narator: Alex starts to drool and sweat. Shade hosed him off a little by shooting water out of it's mouth.  
  
Shade: Men...  
  
Alex\Mist: :)  
  
Shade: YOUR INSUFERABLE!!!  
  
Alex: Insuferwha?  
  
Garet: Forget it. You'd never understand.  
  
Narator: Garet walked into the room. He was all dressed up and wearing cologn.  
  
Alex: UGH! WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!?  
  
Garet: It's Eau De Toilette.  
  
Alex\Mist\Shade: *snicker*  
  
Garet: ......what?  
  
Alex: Eau de Toilet? You want to smell like a toilet?  
  
Garet: NOT TOILET YOU MORON! TOILETTE! It's french for something.  
  
Alex: Whatever. Trying to impress Mia?  
  
Narator: Garet blushed a little.  
  
Alex: You know it'll never work. She has her heart set on Isaac.  
  
Garet: And Isaac has a thing for Jenna, and Jenna has a thing for me. It's a vicious cycle.  
  
Alex: Why don't you just take what you can get and go out with Jenna?  
  
Garet: Because...*insert Garet standing on a boulder in thinking position* Mia's my little firework *fireworks shoot off in the backround*.  
  
Mist: Shiny...  
  
Garet: Alright, I've got a double date.  
  
Alex: A date where your with Mia, Mia's with Isaac, Isaac's with Jenna, and Jenna's with you?  
  
Garet: AWW....SHUDAP!  
  
Narator: Garet slamed the door hard. Alex finished his cereal, and put on his best set of armor. Today was the day he conquered his greatest enemy...the staff at Mc' Donalds. Alex wen't outside. He raised his right hand, and focused his mind. He then began to glow.  
  
Shade: WAIT FOR US!!!  
  
Narator: Mist and Shade jumped onto Alex. He then teleported. They landed outside of Mc'Donalds.....in the dumpster that is.  
  
Alex: UGH! GROSS!!!  
  
Shade: Eww....  
  
Mist: Hey! Theres a half eaten Burger in here.  
  
Narator: Alex grabbed Shade and Mist, who was finshing the burger someone threw out. They went into Mc'Donalds. When the people inside saw him, they gasped.  
  
People: GASP!!!  
  
Narator: Told ya. The people moved out of the way, and let Alex go straight to the counter. He gave the cashier a smug look. The cashier gave one right back to Alex. They didn't speak for 5 minutes, when Alex finaly said:  
  
Alex: A Big mac.....no tomatos.  
  
People: AHHH!!!  
  
Narator: Alex just stared at the cashier and the cashier stared back.  
  
Cashier: Would you.....like fries with that?  
  
People: GASP AGAIN!!!  
  
Alex:.....yes. And...make the fresh.  
  
Narator: An old lady in the crowd fainted. The tension was building. The staff made the Big mac, and made sure to put no tomatos. They also put in a fresh batch of fries. The cashier just stared at Alex while Alex stared back.  
  
Cashier: For here.....or to go?  
  
People: GASP FOR A THIRD TIME!!!  
  
Alex:.....to go.....  
  
People: QUADRUPEL GASP!!!  
  
Narator: The staff finished the Big mac, and finished the fries. The chasier handed him a bag full of the food, and said:  
  
Cashier: That'll be $3.25...  
  
People: GASP NUMBER 5!!!  
  
Cashier: .....with a coupon.....  
  
Narator: Everyone in the place fainted, except Alex, his djinn, and the staff.  
  
Alex: Heres a five.....keep the change...  
  
Narator: Alex handed the bill to the cashier and walked out. He had a big smile on his face.  
  
Alex: I did it! For the first time ever....I HAVE FRESH FRIES!!!  
  
Shade: Can we go to the park and eat them?  
  
Mist: Yeah the park!  
  
Alex: Sure my little friends.  
  
Narator: Alex walked to the park. He sat on a bench, and he ate his Big mac. He was so obsessed with eating it, he forgot about the fries. When he finished the bag was gone.  
  
Alex: Wha? MY FRIES!!! NARATOR WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!!!  
  
Narator: Quiet. Your not supposed to hear me.  
  
Mist: That duck's got 'em.  
  
Narator: Alex looked over. Sure enough, there was a duck holding his bag of delicious fresh fries.  
  
Alex: MY FRIES!!! AFTER THAT DUCK!!! *insert random britsh music and a poorly drawn chase sceene*  
  
Narator: Alex chased that duck everywhere. Through the mall, the movie theater, all the way through the airport in Atlanta. Finaly, the duck stopped running in a field in Idaho. It was facing Alex. They both knew this was gonna be a hard fight. Alex drew his sword, and the duck drew it's beak. They ran toward each other, and hit the weapons together. Over and over, clang after clang. It was a furious and tough sword fight. Actually, it was a sword vs. beak fight. After thirty minutes, a crowd had gathered, wondering what the hell a guy was doing fighting a duck. Alex and the duck were both out of energy. They both knew this was the last strike. It was now or never....  
  
Alex: HEY WHAT'S THAT?!?!  
  
Narator: The duck turned around, and while it wasn't looking, Alex took the fries and kicked the duck.  
  
Alex: HAHA! I have defeated you duck! Now to taste the goodness that is fresh fries.  
  
Narator: Alex popped one in his mouth, only to discover that they were no longer the fresh fries he dreamed of, but the mushy gross kind that have been sitting in grease for 15 minutes.  
  
Alex: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
-End-  
  
-Tune in next time when: Alex Goes to the Dr. Pepper Factory- 


	2. Alex Goes to the Dr Pepper Factory

The Alex Chronicles  
  
Alex Goes to the Dr Pepper Factory  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Alex or anything related to Golden Sun. I do not own Dr Pepper.  
  
By- S.Duck (credit towards Ivanfanatic)  
  
Alex: Hi everyone. Your probably wondering what the hell is going on right? *utter silence* . ......moving along. It all happened on the Mars Lighthouse....*enter flashback* Isaac and crew had just finished lighting the lighthouse. They killed Isaac's father and Jenna's parents. I teleported there to laugh in their faces. All of a sudden, THE WISE ONE APPEARED!!! He talked in such a cool voice it made me want his autograph. He looked so cool I payed no attention to what he was saying. Then I blacked out. We woke up in the middle of Time Square, New York (of coarse, we didn't know that at the time), and after a few months in jail for unnecesarry violence, we decided to accept our fate and settle down. We decided to pick places in the suberbs to live. We each roomed with a different person. I roomed with Garet, Mia roomed with Jenna, Isaac roomed with Felix, Ivan roomed with Sheba, and the two old men (Kraden and Piers) left to go to the retirement home. We visited them until Kraden had a heart attack. After that Piers roomed with Isaac and Felix. Overall, things have been going nicely for the past year. We've grown acustomed to everything, and I've even made some new rivals.......the staff...at Mc'Donalds....But enough about that. On to Todays story.  
  
Narator: Alex woke up late. It was noon. He could smell Garets "Eau DE Toilette" from down the hall. He got up, and in his bunny pajamas, walked to the kitchen and started yelling at Garet.  
  
Alex: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WHERING THAT CRAP AGAIN???  
  
Garet: I've got a date with Mia.  
  
Alex: Does she know about it or are you gonna abduct her again?  
  
Garet: I DIDN'T ABDUCT HER!!! I just.....used sleeping gas on her and took her to a nice resturaunt. It's better when their asleep, cuz then they don't spend any money. Besides, she knows about this one. I got us tickets for a tour of the Dr Pepper factory.  
  
Alex: YOU CRAP!!!  
  
Garet: Nope. See?  
  
Narator: Garet took two tickets from his chest pocket. He waved them back and forth in-front of Alex's face. They were real alright.  
  
Alex: How did you get those? I've been trying for months!  
  
Garet: Lets just say....I gots connection...  
  
Alex: Oh god...not another mafia gig.  
  
Garet: Ahh, what would you know. Now, I'm gonna place my tickets stupidly on this table while I go re-apply my hair gel. I need two bottles a day to keep my hair up.  
  
Narator: And Garet put them down. Right on the table. When Garet came back out....  
  
Garet: WHERE THE HELL ARE MY TICKETS?!?!?!?!?  
  
Narator: Alex put the tickets in his front pocket. He started walking down to Isaac and Felix's house. He rang the door bell. His best friend answered the door.  
  
Felix: Whadda ya want? You little basterd.  
  
Alex: um....well....he he....  
  
Felix:...........AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You fall for that everytime.  
  
Alex: Haha...yeah. Whats up?  
  
Felix: Nothin....  
  
Narator: They here a fart go off in the backround.  
  
Piers: Oh nerts. WILL SOMEONE HELP ME WITH MY DEPENDS?  
  
Isaac: FELIX!!! IT'S YOUR TURN!!!  
  
Narator: Felix had a disgusting look on his face...untill he spotted Alex's tickets.  
  
Felix: SORRY ISAAC! ALEX'S GOT TWO TICKETS TO THE TOUR OF THE DR PEPPER FACTORY!!!  
  
Isaac: YOU CRAP!!!  
  
Alex: Hey! Waitaminute....I never said...OH NO!! not the puppy dog face....  
  
Felix: *wimper*  
  
Alex: Oh alright....you can come...  
  
Narator: Another fart goes off.  
  
Felix: Uh....lets go.  
  
Isaac: I'M GONNA GET YOU FELIX!!!  
  
Narator: Alex raised his right hand, and teleported himself and Felix to outside the Dr Pepper factory. There was a line outside, waiting for the tour. They saw their good friend in line. Yep, right up front was good ol Shadow the Hedgehog. They ran up to him.  
  
Felix: Hey Shadow, how ya been?  
  
Shadow: Not bad.  
  
Alex: Your wife?  
  
Shadow: Amy? .....ugh....she's pregnant again...  
  
Felix: Again? Jeeze...you guys reproduce like gerbals.  
  
Shadow: Hehe....yeah...  
  
Narator: The tour guide came out. It was an extremly fat man.  
  
Tourguide: Hi everyone. I'm gonna take you on the tour of the Dr Pepper factory. It's the only drink in my diet.  
  
Shadow: *wispering* no wonder he's so fat.  
  
Tourguide: Lets begin.  
  
Narator: The tourguide wabbled inside like a penguin. It was rather comical. On the first stop, Alex saw a door that said "DO NOT ENTER"....obviously he did.  
  
Shadow: What the hell are you doing Alex?  
  
Alex: It says, DO NOT ENTER....it must the secret to why Dr Pepper tastes so good.  
  
Shadow: But what if it turns out to be like that episode of Futurama. The one when they go to the Slurm factory and discover that Slurn is actually slug urine and- HEY!  
  
Narator: Alex started walking, with Shadow following. At the end of hall, there were two doors. One said "FAKE FACTORY" and one said REAL FACTORY".  
  
Shadow: Oh god...this is gonna turn out like Futurama. We're gonna walk in their and see a giant shiny thing excreeting Dr Pepper.  
  
Alex: Shiny you say?  
  
Narator: Alex continued into the REAL FACTORY door. What he and Shadow saw inside was the most disgusting thing they ever saw......THEY WERE FILMING THE SECOND CHALLENGE ON FEAR FACTOR AND THEY HAD TO EAT 50 COCKROACHES!!! EWWWWW!!!  
  
Alex: Cool.  
  
Shadow: Neat.  
  
Narator: After watching a few people throwing up, they continued threw another door that said FINAL PART OF FACTORY. Now, what in here wasn't so bad. It was only a dog giving birth to babies and the babies being put into a blender.......what? Thats a lot less disgusting than cockroaches.  
  
Alex: OH MY GOD!!! DR PEPPER IS MUSHED UP PUPPIES!!!  
  
Shadow: *taking a sip of the blended dogs* ....not bad though.  
  
Alex: *taking a sip*....hey! Your right.  
  
Narator: They walked out of this area, past the people throwing up cockroach head, and back to the door that said FAKE FACTORY. Outside of it, was the tour group. They caught up with Felix.  
  
Felix: Man you guys missed it. We drank so much Dr Pepper....I could crap puppies.  
  
Alex: Yes you could.  
  
Narator: And Alex, Felix, and Shadow all laughed like the Brady Bunch kids at the end of an episode.  
  
-End- -Tune in next time when: Alex Goes on Jepardy- 


	3. Alex Goes on Jeopardy

The Alex Chronicles  
  
Alex Goes on Jeopardy  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Alex or Golden Sun. I do not own Jeopardy. Peter Griffin or Family Guy. I do not own Kenshin Himura. I also don't own anything mention in the catagories.  
  
By- S.Duck (credits toward Ivanfanatic)  
  
S.Duck: Hey everyone. It's S.Duck here, bringing you whats new with me.  
  
Ivanfanatic: And I'm here to sort out all the lies.  
  
S.Duck: I must say, that I'm finding enjoyment from Megaman Battle Network 3. I play it about 30 minutes a day.  
  
Ivanfanatic: In other words, he's obsessing over it, and will have less time to write.  
  
S.Duck: Why did I invite you to do this again?  
  
Ivanfanatic: Because you didn't. I smelled Ivan and wandered in here.  
  
S.Duck: O.O'''  
  
Ivanfanatic: I have Ivan senses, which btw, are tingling.  
  
S.Duck: Oh alright. Kyle (my narator)! Bring out Ivan.  
  
Kyle: Here. I tied him up for you.  
  
Ivanfanatic: Come on Ivan. Lets go play.  
  
Ivan: MRPH (HELP)!!!!!!  
  
S.Duck: And now, for today's story. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Anouncer: From the Hollywood studies, This. Iiiiiiiiiiiiis. Jeopardy.  
  
Alex Trebek: Hello everybody, and welcome to Jeopardy. Lets meet our contestants. First, we have Alex from.....hmm....I don't recognize this place. Mr. Alex, where is this Weyard?  
  
Alex: Its actually another world. THAT I WISH TO RULE!!!!  
  
Trebek: Ok then good luck with that. Next is Mr. Peter Griffin from, Rhode Island.  
  
Peter: *pushes buzzer* Diarrhea....eheheheh....diarrhea.  
  
Trebek: Ok good luck with that. Next is Mr. Himura from Japan.  
  
Kenshin: Hello there. I am a wandering samurai and-  
  
Trebek: Don't care.  
  
Kenshin: FOOLISH HOST DON'T INTERUPT THE SAMURAI! *draws his sword*  
  
Trebek: Ok now, lets see our catagories.  
  
Narator: The 6 tv's lit up.  
  
Trebek: Adult Content. Matt Greoning. Wal-Mart. Authors personal lives. Porno films. Cologne. Alex you start.  
  
Alex: Uh...I'll take Matt Greoning for 1000.  
  
Trebek: This cartoon show drawn by Matt Greoning is considered to be the most popular Sitcoms in america. Peter.  
  
Peter: Diarrhea.  
  
Trebek: I'm sorry, that's incorrect, and not in the form of a question. Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin: What is The Simpsons?  
  
Trebek: Correct.  
  
Alex: Damn you Kenshin. I knew that one.  
  
Kenshin: I'll take Author's personal lives for 1000.  
  
Trebek: This author has only had one girlfriend who moved away before they kissed. Alex.  
  
Alex: Who is S.Duck?  
  
S.Duck: HEY!!!!!  
  
Trebek: Correct.  
  
S.Duck: -.-....  
  
Alex: I'll take Wal-mart for 1000.  
  
Trebek: This is the number of Walmarts that can fit onto one highway in Arizona. Peter.  
  
Peter: Diarrhea.  
  
Trebek: I'm sorry, thats incorrect, and still not in the form of a question. Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin: What is 40?  
  
Trebek: Correct.  
  
Kenshin: I'll take Porno Films for 1000.  
  
Trebek: This porno was rated number 1 in Alahshia. Alex.  
  
Alex: What is Lord of the Dings?  
  
Trebek: Correct.  
  
Alex: I'll take Adult Content for 1000.  
  
Trebek: This sickness, isn't cured by medicene, but is hurried instead. Peter.  
  
Peter: WHAT IS diarrhea?  
  
Kenshin: WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT YOU MORON?  
  
Trebek: That is correct.  
  
Kenshin: O.O'...  
  
Peter: ehehehehehe....diarrhea. I'll take Cologne for 1000.  
  
Trebek: This cologne, is often confused with something you find in the bathroom.  
  
Alex: GASP!!! *thinking* I know this. Its Eau de Toilette, that crappy cologne Garet wears. I'm gonna win. I'm GONNA WIN!!!  
  
Trebek: Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin: What is Eau De Toilette?  
  
Trebek: Correct.  
  
Alex: YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!  
  
Narator: Alex tackled Kenshin and started pounding the crap out of him. Peter just stood there and said:  
  
Peter: ehehehehe....diarrhea.  
  
Narator: And while fighting, Alex knocked down a beam, and it landed on Trebek. It didn't even make a scratch, revealing that Alex Trebek is actually a robot. He then destroyed all Hollywood and parts of San- fransisco. Alex, Peter, and Kenshin all survived. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kyle: Wow....that sucked.  
  
S.Duck: Hush you.  
  
Ivanfanatic: I must agree.  
  
S.Duck: NOBODY LOVES ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Kyle: You are the biggest over actor.  
  
S.Duck: What? I thought it was very dramatic.  
  
-End-  
  
-No camera men were hurt in the making in this story.....except one. But he's alright now (Duece Bigalo reference. Move along).-  
  
-Tune in next time when: Alex Meets Harry Potter- 


	4. Alex Meets Harry Potter

The Alex Chronicles  
  
Alex Meets Harry Potter  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Alex, Golden Sun, or Harry Potter.  
  
By- S.Duck  
  
Narator: Alex woke up one terrible Monday morning (I hate Mondays) to the door bell ringing. It was a wizard scout.  
  
Harry: Hello. I'm Harry Potter. The boy who lived. Would you like to buy- *is shot*  
  
Alex: *putting gun away* Ain't living no more are ya?  
  
Narator: And Alex went back to bed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ S.Duck: Shortest. Chapter. EVER!  
  
Kyle: Wow....that WAS short.  
  
Ivanfanatic: Gotta admit, it was funny.  
  
S.Duck: Yes.  
  
Kyle: Yeah.  
  
Ivanfanatic: Uh huh....so how much space do we have to take up so you can upload it to fanfiction.net?  
  
S.Duck: Only a little more.......  
  
Kyle: *sigh*....this is boring.  
  
S.Duck: That should do it. Later folks.  
  
-End-  
  
-Tune in next time when: Alex Journeys to the Center of the Earth- 


	5. Alex goes to the Center of the Earth

The Alex Chronicles  
  
Alex goes to the Center of the Earth  
  
Dislcaimer: I do not own Alex or Golden Sun. I also do not own Shadow the Hedgehog. Idea for story came for may narator, Kyle.  
  
By- S.Duck  
  
Narator: It was another day in...whatever city the Golden Sun gang lives in. Shadow had come over to Alex's house, because he had nothing to do. He and Alex just played drunk games.  
  
Shadow: It landed in the glass. DRINK!!!  
  
Narator: Alex picked up the glass and drank all the beer. After they ran out, Alex and Shadow made some popcorn as Garet brought Mia home and tried to impress her. It wasn't going to well.  
  
Mia: No thanks Garet. I really don't want anything to eat.  
  
Garet: OH COME ON!!! You don't want to try these hot cookies I made?  
  
Mia: I'd rather not...  
  
Garet: You afriad I put Knock-out pills in them again?  
  
Mia: Yes.  
  
Garet: Well I didn't this time.  
  
Mia: Prove it.  
  
Garet: How?  
  
Mia: Eat one yourself.  
  
Garet: err.....  
  
Mia: Well?  
  
Narator: Garet grabbed a cookie and ate it. He fainted immediatly.  
  
Mia: Thought so. Hey! *looking toward Shadow and Alex* want to help me throw his body into the dumpster down at the corner market?  
  
Narator: Alex and Shadow shruged. They had nothing better the do. Alex grabbed Garets legs, and started to drag him down the street. They finaly reached the market and picked Garet up. They swung him around a little and threw him. He landed right on top of some year old applesauce containers that all burst open, covering Garet with the disgusting goo.  
  
Mia: Hee hee. Thanks guys.  
  
Alex: No problem.  
  
Mia: Want to walk me home?  
  
Shadow: Sure.  
  
Narator: They started walking. Half way down the street the ground started shaking.  
  
Mia: What that?  
  
Alex: Earthquake?  
  
Shadow: Strong one!  
  
Alex: Watch out Mia!!!  
  
Narator: The ground under Mia broke open, and she started to fall. Alex and Shadow ran over to her and grabbed her arms. They tried pulling her up, but it was no use. They all got pulled down into the hole....Alex woke up. It was dark.  
  
Alex: Wha.....where am I? Shadow? Mia?  
  
Narator: He could faintly see them.  
  
Alex: Well....this isn't good.  
  
Shadow: err....  
  
Mia: uhh......  
  
Shadow: What happened?  
  
Mia: We must have fallen into the hole.  
  
Shadow: No shit. How should we get out?  
  
Mia: Alex!  
  
Alex: WHA?!?!?1  
  
Mia: Can't you teleport?  
  
Alex: Yeah....but....  
  
Mia: What?  
  
Alex: I wanna explore a little.  
  
Shadow: Me too.  
  
Mia: Wha? But....but it's like, dark down here.  
  
Shadow: Problem solved. CHAOS CONTROL!!!  
  
Narator: The place lit up.  
  
Alex: Better? Hey I see a cave over there!  
  
Mia: -.-......great......  
  
Narator: They started walking. They walked down farther and farther. They finally came to a huge boulder blocking the path. It had writing on it. It said: CENTER OF EARTH.  
  
Mia: I'll take it out.  
  
Alex: Why the sudden interest?  
  
Mia: Uh.......hmmm......I have no clue.  
  
Shadow: Whatever. Really think you can take it out?  
  
Mia: Sure! It's simple. Watch.  
  
Narator: Mia raised her left hand (Mia's left handed didn't ya know?). It started getting cold. Suddenly, the huge boulder was now a huge iceburg.  
  
Mia: HIYA!!!  
  
Narator: Mia karate chopped it. It shattered into about 100 pieces. 10 of them hitting Alex in the eye.  
  
Alex: AHH DAMN!  
  
Narator: Beyond the boulder, was the most beautiful thing they ever saw........  
  
Shadow: SWEET!!!! A BAR!!!!!! A BAR WITH FREE BEER!!!!!  
  
Alex: YES!!!  
  
Mia: ALRIGHTY!!!!  
  
Narator: After 8-10 drinks...  
  
Mia: LOL I M TEH L33+N33S LMAO STFU!!!  
  
Alex: LMAO U NOT THE L33+N33S. I M TEH L33+N33S.  
  
Shadow: Why are you guys talking like that?  
  
Mia: Simulating we're drunker than we really are, ya little hampster.  
  
Alex: It makes the story funnier in a way that makes me laugh like this. HA HA. Like that only funnier.  
  
Shadow: Oh. Carry on.  
  
Mia: LMAO I T!-!IN! \/\/3 N33!) 2 ST00P N0\/\/.  
  
Alex: Y?  
  
Mia: Because I can't talk anymore.....Its to hot down here. I'm gonna take off my clothes. *CENSORED* (this is PG-13 don't forget).  
  
Bartender: Ok I think you three had enough.  
  
Shadow: What about me? I'm not drunk yet.  
  
Bartender: How will I know when your drunk?  
  
Shadow: When I do this. *break into opening dance theme from Austin Powers with everyone in the bar joining in*.  
  
Bartender: Ok.  
  
Shadow: So another beer here. *after 5 more drinks* *break into opening dance theme from Austin Powers with everyone in the bar joining in*.  
  
Bartender: Ok, I think you've had enough.  
  
Shadow: I haven't had enough....I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!  
  
Bartender: What about your two friends there? They've been passed out on the floor for about 30 minutes now.  
  
Shadow: Alright, I'll take them home. But I expect a full pitcher when I get back. Now gimme my keys.  
  
Bartender: Here you go.  
  
Narator: The bartender hands Shadow a set of keys. Shadow picks up Alex and Mia and starts running.  
  
Bartender: Waitaminute. HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY KEYS!!!  
  
Narator: Shadow reached the surface. He met Garet right outside of the hole, who was covered in trash. He was hopefully walking home to take a shower. He smelled.  
  
Shadow: Hey Garet.  
  
Garet: Hey Shadow. Man...I just had the weirdest dream....and I woke up in a dumpster after it. What happened to Alex and Mia?  
  
Shadow: We fell into this hole, went down to the center of the Earth, found it was a bar, and got tanked. Which reminds me, I got full pitcher down there. Want these?  
  
Narator: Shadow threw Garet the set of keys.  
  
Garet: Sure. Whats are they for?  
  
Shadow: How the hell should I know?  
  
Narator: Shadow ran back into the hole. Garet picked up Alex and Mia and brought them home...and before Garet even walked in the door, Mia woke up, slapped him about 15 times, and went over to Isaacs' house. Garet threw Alex on the couch, went into the kitchen, and had a few cookies.  
  
-End-  
  
-Tune in next time when: Alex goes on a Date- 


	6. Alex goes on a Date

The Alex Chronicles  
  
Alex goes on a Date  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Alex, or Golden Sun.  
  
By-S.Duck  
  
S.Duck: GAAAAAAAH!!! We're loosing readers.  
  
Kyle: Hey, I thought the last few chapters were funny.  
  
S.Duck: Thats because you got drunk before I showed them to you.  
  
Kyle: So?  
  
S.Duck: Besides, it's been almost a week since the last time we updated the story. Maybe two.  
  
Kyle: I guess thats true.  
  
S.Duck: Ok think....this chapter is Alex goes on a Date. We need to think of someone for Alex to go out with. Somebody hilarious.  
  
Kyle: ROSANNE!!!  
  
S.Duck: Naw, then fat people would get pissed.  
  
Kyle: Sheik?  
  
S.Duck: Well, while Sheik really is a woman, people who didn't know that would think their gay or something. And making fun of gay people would get us in trouble.  
  
Kyle: How about a Canadian?  
  
S.Duck: Why not? No one cares about Canadians.  
  
Ivanfanatic: Nah, you can't make fun of foreign countries. Then that starts wars and crap. You need to do something different....go for people who don't care if their insulted.  
  
S.Duck: Hippies?  
  
Ivanfanatic: This is what I had in mind...*wispering to S.Duck*  
  
S.Duck: YES!!! THATS BRILLIANT!!! Now for today's story.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Garet: Alex. Wake your Ass up.  
  
Narator: It was noon on a Saturday,  
  
Alex: What the hell do you want? You know I don't wake up til 2 o' clock on Saturdays.  
  
Garet: You've got a date.  
  
Alex: I WHA?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Garet: I set you up on a date....in a way.  
  
Alex: Why, may I ask?  
  
Garet: Because I'm sick of being the only one in this house who can get a woman. When I have a party for couples, your always home and doing nothing. YOU RUIN THE WHOLE CONCEPT!!!  
  
Alex: I care why?  
  
Garet: So I set you up to go on that dating show. Afterwards, your gonna go Mini-golfing, see a movie, and then come back here for a party.  
  
Alex:...  
  
Garet: MOVE YOUR ASS! You gotta be at the studio at 1 pm.  
  
Alex: *snore*  
  
Garet:.......  
  
Narator: Garet dragged Alex outa beg, took him to the bathroom and threw him in the shower, clothes on, at the coldest temperature.  
  
Alex: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!  
  
Narator: Alex took the shower, threw on his best pair of clothes, and hopped into the car (can't teleport if you don't know where your going don't you know). Garet came out with and got in the car, and drove to the studio. There, the host greeted them.  
  
Host: Hello, and welcome to the dating game. Are you Alex?  
  
Alex: Yeah...  
  
Host: Ok. Now, there will be three young bachorlorette's (Note to the readers: Try to guess who the bachorlorette are before you find out. I'm just trying to make YOUR reading experience fun ^.^), and pick which ever one you wish to go out with.  
  
Alex: Easy enough.  
  
Host: Ok, the shows starting.  
  
Narator: After the introduction sceene, the host introduced Alex, and started the game.  
  
Alex: Bacholorette #1. If you could bring one item onto a desserted island for all eternity, what would you bring?  
  
Bacholorette #1: Well, I'd have to bring my CD player to listen to ME!!!!!  
  
Alex: Uh.....ok....Bacholorette #2. Same question.  
  
Bacholorette #2: Well, I'd have to bring my book on how to be the WORLD BIGGEST BITCH!  
  
Alex: uh.......k.......Bacholorette #3. Same question.  
  
Bacholorette #3: Definatly my gun. I'd just shoot any seagulls that passed by. It would be like, BANG BANG BANG AND THERE WOULD BE COUNTLESS SEAGULLS FALLING INTO THE OCEAN!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Alex: O.o???? Uh...Bacholorette #1. If you could have anything in the world, what would they be?  
  
Bacholorette #1: Hmm......nice, big, HUGE boobies.  
  
Alex: I'm starting to like you Bacholorette #1. Bacholorette #2. Same questio-  
  
Bacholorette #2: Shut up. Your last comment about Bacholorette #1 was not funny. It sucked. You know nothing. You are the weakest link. Goodbye. (note to readers: If you don't know if Bacholorette #2 is by now, theres something wrong with you.)  
  
Alex: Bitch.  
  
Bacholorette #2: How dare you?  
  
Bacholorette #3: Aww...shut the hell up! *BLAM*  
  
Host: It seems the is no longer a Bacholorette #2. Onto Bacholorette #3.  
  
Alex: Same question Bacholorette #3.  
  
Bacholorette #3: A really, really, REALLY big gun. So I can shoot things...........DIE!!! EVERYTHING MUST DIE!!!!!! TAKE THIS ALIEN SCUM!!!!!! *BLAM*.  
  
Audience: AHHHHH.  
  
Host: It seems we no longer have an audience.  
  
Bacholorette #1: Uh oh....my boobs seem to be getting bigger...  
  
Alex: uh...  
  
Bacholorette #1: much bigger....  
  
Alex: I DON'T CARE WHO THE HELL SHE IS! I'M PICKING #1!!!!!!!  
  
Host: Now, lets meet the Bacholorette's you didn't pick. Bacholorette #2 is......the ashes from the host lady from The Weakest Link (I don't remember her name).  
  
Narator: And one of the model girls brought out the ashes in a can. She went outside and dumped them into the dumpster.  
  
Host: Bacholorette #3 is.......Samus Aran!  
  
Samus: You didn't pick me. I feel like......hurting someone.......DIE MODEL GIRL!!!  
  
Model girl: *screams, followed by a blast, followed by silence*.  
  
Host: And the Bacholorette you chose is................  
  
Narator: Who did Alex choose? Find out...........  
  
......right now.  
  
Host: BRITNEY SPEARS!  
  
Alex: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!  
  
Britney: Hey... he looks like a chick. People will see us making out and think......nasty thoughts.  
  
-How will Alex's date with Britney Spears go? Will people actually think nasty thoughts? And what about the rabid monkeys I didn't mention in this chapter and are ripping my hair out at this very moment? And whats up with Bill Gates and the idea of making a second X-Box when the first sucked anyhow? Find out the answers the the first two questions on: Alex goes on a Date, Part 2.-  
  
(note to readers: I promise the next chapter will be a hell of a lot funnier. This chapter was just to build up to their date.) 


	7. Alex goes on a Date, Part 2

The Alex Chronicles  
  
Alex goes on a Date Part 2  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Alex, or Golden Sun. I also do not own Britney Spears. I would like to, but I don't.  
  
By-S.Duck  
  
S.Duck: Hey everyone. Before we start, I'd just like to thank Britney Spears for agreeing to do this story with Alex. I would like to mention that she does not act like this in real life. Right Britney?  
  
Britney: That is correct. I am actually more concerned about the depleting rain forest than my boobs. While they are nice, I like people to appreciate me for mind. S.Duck here understands that right?  
  
S.Duck:........  
  
Britney: Hello?  
  
S.Duck: The only word I understood there was boobs.  
  
Britney: -.-....  
  
Ivanfanatic: And now for today's story.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Britney: So, like, why do you look like a girl?  
  
Alex: I DO NOT!!! Girls have boobs don't they?  
  
Britney: Yes, and I have extremly big ones. That reminds me. My bra is too small to fit me. Can we go pick a new one up? Hey! You can help me try it on.  
  
Alex:.............sure................  
  
Britney: Why are you sweating? Haven't you ever gone out with an extremly popular singer with extremly big boobs before?  
  
Alex: *shaking head slowly and nerviously, trying not to look like an idiot*  
  
Britney: Really? Thats amazing! Because even though it's sometimes hard to tell your a guy, your really cute.  
  
Alex: *faints*  
  
Britney: *steals money from wallet, along with credit card* (he shoulda swithed to a Capitol One no hastle card)  
  
Narator: Alex was out for about an hour. All the while, Britney went and got herself a new bra, and car, and a few other things, with Alex's money. Finaly, she got back to Alex as soon as he was waking up.  
  
Britney: Have a nice nap cutie?  
  
Alex: What happened?  
  
Britney: You fainted. I hope you don't mind that I took your money and bought myself a new bra, a new car, fuzzy dice to go with car, a few new dresses, some really tight shirts.....  
  
Narator: The list went on for an hour. All the while, Alex lost his smile and was slowly going in a shocked look. If Britney hadn't stoped right before she got to shoes, Alex probably woulda fainted.  
  
Britney: Hey, are you alright?  
  
Alex: Well, I'm poor now....  
  
Britney: Oh thats ok, I can pay you back every penny.  
  
Alex: You can?  
  
Britney: HELLO? I'm Britney Spears remember? I'm rich!  
  
Alex: So why didn't you use your own money to buy that stuff?  
  
Britney: ........thats a good question.  
  
Alex: Well, even if I had the money, we've missed mini-golfing and movies. Let's just go to the party. (I can't wait to see the look on Garet's face when he see's I'm with Britney Spears Ha ha!.)  
  
Britney: What was that?  
  
Alex: Huh?  
  
Britney: You just said something about seeing the look on someone's face when they saw me.  
  
Alex: Hey! That's a soliloquy. It means I'm talking to myself. Your not supposed to hear it.  
  
Britney: Oh neato! Can I do one? (This is gonna be great.....hee hee.)  
  
Narator: So Alex and Britney got into Britney's new car and drove back to the house. Loud music was booming.  
  
Alex: Ok. Ready?  
  
Britney: Yep!  
  
Narator: Alex walked up to the door, and put the key in. He opened the door and...  
  
Everyone but Alex: SURPRIZE!!!!!!!  
  
Alex: WHA?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Narator: Garet walked up to Alex.  
  
Garet: Man, you shoulda seen the look on your face. I can't believe you forgot it was your B-day.  
  
Alex: Huh?  
  
Garet: Yep! We arranged all this just for you. Come on out!  
  
Narator: Samus Aran, The host, the host lady from The Weakest Link, and the model girl all stepped out from behind the closet door.  
  
Host: This all was arranged for you!  
  
Alex: But-  
  
Host: Yes, everything. We faked killing the host lady from the weakest link and the Model Girl. We even convinced Britney Spears to go on a date with you. Unfortunatly, you passed out which made it less fun for us.  
  
Alex: But-  
  
Britney: But how could they see us? Come on out!  
  
Narator: The film crew from CBS came out.  
  
Britney: We were filming our date. And don't worry, I'll still pay you back for all the money I spent.  
  
Alex: BUT-  
  
Garet: But how did all this happen? I went down to CBS the other day and gave them this idea. The show'll be on next Tuesday! I can't wait to watch it! Come one everybody!  
  
Everyone but Alex: HAPPY BIRTHDA-  
  
Alex: EVERYONE!!!  
  
Narator: And everyone shut-  
  
Alex: YOU TOO NARATOR!!!  
  
Narator: oops.  
  
Alex: Everyone.....while I appreciate everything you did......my birthday's next week.  
  
Everyone but Alex: O.O..............*turning toward Garet*  
  
Garet: oops......heh heh.......well uh......this'll be a great show huh? Heh heh.....I'll start running now...  
  
-End-  
  
-Join us next time when: Alex gets a Job- 


	8. Misty adventure on a Shady night

The Alex Chronicles  
  
Misty adventures on a Shady night  
  
Disclaimer: I do not Mist, Shade, or any of the Golden Sun djinn.  
  
By-S.Duck  
  
S.Duck: Ok, so some people have IM'ed me and asked "Where are Mist and Shade?". Well, I'm about to answer this question. Turns out Mist and Shade went on an adventure together. Why? Because they had nothing better to do. I have also recieved questions like "where are all the other Djinn?". Well, this question is a little simpler. The Golden Sun characters sent them to the zoo, but decided to keep Mist and Shade. So, the adventure starts out with our favorite djinn visiting the others.  
  
Mist: Haha!!!  
  
Corona: *eyes glow, and uses power on Mist*  
  
Mist: YOUCH!!!  
  
Shade: Ya know, if you were more lovable, you wouldn't be in there.  
  
Granite: Well how do we be more lovable?  
  
Shade: You can start by makin love ta me *wink*  
  
Granite: You are so lucky my power doesn't hurt you...  
  
Shade: You'd hit a girl?  
  
Granite: No-  
  
Vine: But I would! Stay away from MY man!  
  
Granite: wha? I'm not your man, Bane is.  
  
Vine: Oh....which one are you?  
  
Granite: I'm Granite.  
  
Vine: Oh yeah. Where's Bane.  
  
Crystal: Here!  
  
Vine: YOUR NOT BANE!!!  
  
Haze: Hey Mist, I'll give ya twenty bucks if you can get me outa here?  
  
Mist: Uh, which one are you?  
  
Haze: It's me! Haze! Your ex-girlfriend?  
  
Mist: Your my ex?  
  
Haze: Yeah!  
  
Mist: THEN HELL NO!!!  
  
Haze: DEMIT!!!  
  
Shade: Well, we better be going.  
  
Mist: Ya. Bye guys.  
  
All Djinn: Bye!  
  
Narator: Bout time I say something. Mist and Shade walk out of the zoo. As they do, Shade makes a startaling discovering.  
  
Shade: EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!!!  
  
Mist: Wha?  
  
Shade: *sniffle* I LEFT MY AUSTIN POWERS KEYCHAIN IN THE ZOO!!!  
  
Mist: *anime style fall* So, lets go back in and get it.  
  
Shade: I can't.  
  
Mist: Why not?  
  
Shade: I forgot to get my hand stamped.  
  
Mist: Argh....  
  
Shade: You'll have to go in.  
  
Mist: Fine.  
  
Narator: Mist goes back into the zoo. He finds the keychain, and stumbles into the park manager.  
  
Park Manager: Hey, one-a the djinn got out-a the cage. Better take it back.  
  
Mist: GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!!!  
  
Park manager: Sorry, can't do that.  
  
Mist: BUT I'M NOT ONE OF THE ZOO DJINN!!!  
  
Park manager: Thats what the bear last week said. And he went and caused all kinds of hell. I'm not making the same mistake.  
  
Mist: Your right. CUZ YOUR MAKING A DIFFERENT ONE!!!  
  
Park manager: Nice try. But I'm a canadian, and we don't think like you stupid americans.  
  
Mist: BUT I'M NOT AMERICAN!!!!! DEMIT!!!! This calls for my TELEPATHY power! (Shade....Shade can you hear me?  
  
Shade: The voice in my head? What do you want me to burn now?  
  
Mist: (What the? I'M NOT THE VOICES INSIDE YOUR HEAD STUPID!!! I'ts Mist!)  
  
Shade: Oh......wait.....What do you want? Did you get my keychain?  
  
Mist: (Yes, but I've been captured.)  
  
Shade: So?  
  
Mist: (So get in here and save me!)  
  
Shade: I can't. My hand wasn't stamped.  
  
Mist: (YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE HANDS!!!!)  
  
Shade: (Don't worry. I have a plan.)  
  
Mist: (The fact that you have a plan makes me worry.)  
  
Shade: Want me to save you or not?  
  
Mist: (fine. What do you have in mind?)  
  
Shade: *wispers plan*  
  
Mist: (that sucks)  
  
Shade: Too bad. It's what I'm doing.  
  
Mist: (whatever)  
  
Shade: Time to put this plane to action!  
  
-What is Shade's plan? Find out next time.  
  
S.Duck: There ya go. Part one of the explaination. If you want, I can make this a little mini-series. Please R&R. 


	9. Alex vs Bureaucracy

The Alex Chronicles  
  
-S.Duck  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Golden Sun or Mc'Donalds.  
  
-Alex Vs. Bureaucracy Part 1- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ S.Duck: Alright Alright....stop emailing me. New chapter. Oh, and Flying Baboons, the S. stands for Shadow. So...sorry I haven't updated that much. I've been really busy lately. From Band to Mens acapella, German club to art class, I've been up to my knees in stuff to do. Oh....and Soul Calibur 2 has kept me a little busy. Heheh...anyways....Heres the next chapter. Enjoy.  
  
Kyle: Cuz if you don't *raises fist*  
  
S.Duck: WHAT THE?!?! HOW'D YOU GET IN MY HOUSE?!?!?!  
  
Ivanfanatic: Backdoor was open.  
  
S.Duck: GET OUT!!!  
  
Kyle: We got nachos.  
  
S.Duck: O.O....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Garet: Dammit Alex, get a job.  
  
Alex: Jeh.......awb?  
  
Garet: YOU KNOW WHAT A JOB IS YOU STUPID MORON!!!  
  
Alex: Why the hell should I get a job?  
  
Garet: Because I'm the only one paying the rent around here. I actually do something for a living.  
  
Alex: If you count pillaging Isaacs house of all its riches.  
  
Garet: Heh, he still thinks it was a penguin who stole his CD Player.  
  
Alex: Screw you.  
  
Garet: Your getting a job!  
  
Narator: Felix walked in the door.  
  
Felix: Hey guys. Figured I'd visit. Isaac thinks I'm looking for that penguin again so I got time.  
  
Alex: It's strange, I always thought Isaac was smart.  
  
Garet: Maybe because the only time you were around him, he was a mute.  
  
Alex: Oh yeah. How'd he get his voice back?  
  
Felix: He didn't. He stole mine.  
  
Alex: Then you?  
  
Felix: I stole mine from Tom Arnold. I think I made the world happier that day. Now what were you guys yelling about before?  
  
Garet: You heard that?  
  
Felix: The entire city heard it.  
  
Alex: If you heard it, why do you need to ask?  
  
Felix: uh........DAMN PARADOX!!!  
  
Alex: I blame the author.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
S.Duck: Nobody likes me.  
  
Kyle: Shut up and have another nacho.  
  
S.Duck: YAY!!!  
  
Ivan: I want one!  
  
Ivanfanatic: You can't have any. Sugar makes you hyperactive.  
  
Ivan: What are you talking about? There are no-  
  
Ivanfanatic: A bah bah bah. Don't make me tell your sister you ate sugar.  
  
Ivan: grr....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Garet: For the last time....GET A JOB!!!!  
  
Alex: FINE!!!  
  
Narator: Alex walked outside.  
  
Alex: Now...where can I get a job.  
  
Narator: Alex looked up, and saw a now hiring sign.  
  
Alex: AWESOME!!! Now, what is thi- NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Narator: It was the worst place imaginable.....MC'DONALDS!!!!!  
  
Alex: SCREW YOU AUTHOR!!!!!  
  
Narator: A bolt of lightning came down from the sky and stuck Alex.  
  
Alex: COUGH....fine....I'll take the job...  
  
Narator: A few hours later...  
  
Alex: Would you like fries with that?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
-What will happen next time on the Alex Chronicles? Will Alex survive working at Mc'donalds? Or will another part of Mist and Shades adventure be revealed?  
  
S.Duck: Will Kyle ever stop HOGGIN THE NACHOS?  
  
Kyle: SCREW YOU AUTHOR DUDE!!!!  
  
Ivanfanatic: -.-'.....only time shall tell. 


	10. Alex vs Bureaucracy part 2

The Alex chronicles  
  
-S.Duck  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Golden sun or Mc Donalds.  
  
-Alex Vs. Bureaucracy Part 2-  
  
S.Duck: Hey everyone! Another chapter for ya. Ya know, it makes me happy when people give me good reviews. Not because I'm conceited, but because I love making you people happy.  
  
Kyle/Ivanfanatic/Ivan: BWAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!! YOU NOT CONCEITED!!!!! LMAO!!! THATS A GOOD ONE!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
S.Duck: SHUT UP!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Alex: grr....  
  
Cashier guy: Alex.  
  
Alex: Cashier guy.  
  
Cashier guy: I do have a name.  
  
Alex: Even if I cared, I don't want to hear it.  
  
Cashier guy: Well, I'll tell you anyway.  
  
Alex: If it will get you to shut the hell up.  
  
Cashier guy: My name is.......TOM!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Alex:.....  
  
Tom: FEAR MY AWESOME NAME!!!  
  
Alex: May I asked you a question?  
  
Tom: Yes puny mortal?  
  
Alex: Are you gay?  
  
Tom: WHAT?!?!?!  
  
Alex: Just asking.  
  
Tom: DO YOU WANNA BE FIRED?  
  
Alex: Yes.  
  
Tom:....oh. Well, Your NOT fired. Nyah.  
  
Alex: So?  
  
Tom: DAMMIT STOP ABSORBING MY INSULTS!!  
  
Alex: Nyah.  
  
Tom: Hey. Don't make me sick the clown on you.  
  
Narator: Alex looked over and saw Ronald Mc'donald on a chain, growling and drooling all over himself.  
  
Alex: O_O....  
  
Tom: Yeah...its not a pretty site is it. He got fed up with all the happieness and smiles, he went psycho. We lost good men and women that day.  
  
Alex: Holy.....crap.  
  
Tom: Ok, heres how to work the cashier.  
  
Narator: Tom explained how to use the cashier. I showed Alex how to open it, make change, the works.  
  
Tom: Now, you run the cashier while I go take a nap.  
  
Alex: Wait! I gotta go to the bathroom.  
  
Tom: Hold it till my shift.  
  
Alex: Whens that?  
  
Tom: 5 hours from now.  
  
Alex: O.O.....................................  
  
Narator: So, Alex worked at the cashier for 5 hours. He dealt with angry bikers, snot nosed teens, and that old lady from the first chapter came in and fainted at the site of him there.  
  
Finaly...  
  
Tom: alright, my shift. You got a 20 minute break, then you got dishes.  
  
Alex: YES!!!!!!  
  
Narator: Alex ran straight into the bathroom, and just started going.  
  
Alex: Best.......wiz.......EVER!  
  
Narator: After his wiz, Alex walked out of the bathroom, and right into Tom.  
  
Tom: One of our cashiers couldn't make it. You'll have to fill in.  
  
Alex: WHAT?!?!?!  
  
Tom: You want money?  
  
Alex: grr....  
  
Narator: So, Alex worked the second cashier...after a few hours....  
  
Alex: HOLY CRAP!!!!!!! Its....its..........THE DUCK!!  
  
Narator: Thats right. The duck from the first chapter was back. And he looked pissed.  
  
Alex: Back for more, eh duck?  
  
Duck: Quack quack quack (you beat me last time, but this time, THE FRIES WILL BE MINE!!!)  
  
Alex: We'll see about that duck!  
  
Narator: And Alex drew his sword.  
  
Tom: WHAT THE HELL? Alex, are you about to fight that duck?  
  
Alex: Yes. He wants the fries.  
  
Tom:.......MORON FIGHT!!!!  
  
Narator: Everyone inside, and around that Mc Donalds gathered round.  
  
Alex: You shall not defeat me duck.  
  
-Will Alex be able to stop the duck from stealing all the fries? When will we see Mist and Shade again? And will Rocky and Bullwinkle be able to survive this adventure? Find out next time on  
  
DUCK!  
  
or  
  
To Quack, or not to quack. 


	11. Alex vs Bureaucracy part 3

The Alex Chronicles  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Golden Sun or Mcdonalds.  
  
-S.Duck  
  
-Alex vs Bureaucracy part 3-  
  
S.Duck: Well, people are glad to see the duck back. Trust me. He'll be back a lot. Oh, but this time....well.....nothin is really gonna happen between them.  
  
Ivanfantic: I don't like the duck. He wants to steal the fries.  
  
Kyle: I like ducks.  
  
S.Duck: Me too.  
  
Ivanfanatic: No you don't. You just told me the other day that you hate ducks.  
  
S.Duck: Would I have Duck in my name if I hated them?  
  
Ivanfanatic: Yes. You also told me Duck was in your last name.  
  
S.Duck: Umm...  
  
Ivanfanatic: In fact, you even told me you got your last name because your ancestors had a farm with no ducks, and people named your ancestors the Duck-MURFF!  
  
S.Duck: *is holding M-9 tranq* ok....moving on.  
  
Kyle: Remind me never to get on your bad side.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Alex: Come and get me duck!  
  
Narator: Alex ran near the duck. But, he tripped on a crack in the floor and passed out. The duck ran in th kitchen and stole all the fries...or at least he would of.  
  
BANG!!!  
  
Tom: Take that duck.  
  
Narator: Tom had hit the duck on the back of the head with a frying pan. He stuffed the duck in a sack, and threw it into the conviently placed river behind the Mc Donalds. But, since he was a pacifist, he made sure the duck could get out. Just then Alex woke up.  
  
Alex: What happened?  
  
Tom: you tripped on that crack, you uncoordinated basterd.  
  
Alex: Wha? What happened to the duck?  
  
Tom: He tried to steal the fries, but I hit him in the head with this frying pan.  
  
Alex: Where'd you get a frying pan? This is Mc Donalds.  
  
Tom: umm.........  
  
Narator: Tom hit Alex with the frying pan.  
  
Tom: NO PLOTHOLES!!!  
  
Narator: After Alex woke from that, he went back and worked at the cashier. then, Britney Spears came in.  
  
Tom: HOLY CRAP! IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!!!  
  
Alex: Hey Brit.  
  
Britney: Hi Alex.  
  
Narator: Tom pulled Alex down under the counter.  
  
Tom: How do you. Why do you. Why does Britney Spears know your name?  
  
Alex: We used to date.  
  
Tom: YOU DATED BRITNEY SPEARS???  
  
Alex: Yeah?  
  
Tom: grr.....YOU ARE NOW MY RIVAL!!!  
  
Alex: What? It was no big deal. It actually turned out the whole thing was fixed by my roommate.  
  
Britney: It's true.  
  
Tom: AHH! SHE HEARD ME!!!  
  
Britney: Um....is there a problem?  
  
Tom: Um...no. Could I take your order?  
  
Britney: I'll take a Bigmac.  
  
Tom: Um.....anything else?  
  
Britney: No thanks.  
  
Back up dancer: Hey! What about all of us?  
  
Britney: Aww, their so cute when their stupid.  
  
Back up dancers: grr...  
  
Narator: The staff made the Bigmac.  
  
Tom: Um....tits - I MEAN IT's on the house.  
  
Britney: Aww....your so sweet. Alex, your friend here is really nice.  
  
Alex: He's not my friend.  
  
Britney: Oh. Well, I need to get to a concert. Bye Alex.  
  
Alex: bye Britney.  
  
???: WAIT BRITNEY!!!!!  
  
Britney/Alex/Tom: WHA?  
  
-Who is this mystery person? Find out next time.  
  
Which happens to be now.  
  
Justin: BRITNEY!!!  
  
Britney: Justin Timberlake?  
  
Justin: Britney. I was a fool. Please take me back.  
  
Britney: It's over Justin. Your not a part of my life anymore.  
  
Justin: The only way I'd leave you is if you got another boyfriend.  
  
Narator: Britney looked around.  
  
Britney: Slob, no. Fat person, no. Pathetic loser, no.  
  
Tom: HEY!!!  
  
Narator: Britney looked at Alex and smirked.  
  
Britney: I do have a boyfriend. He's standing right there.  
  
Alex: Wha? Waitaminute!  
  
Justin: I thought you said boyfriend. That looks like a woman.  
  
Alex: I'M A GUY YOU LOSER!!!  
  
Narator: Alex grabbed Britney's arm.  
  
Alex: Come on Britney, let go to your concert.  
  
Britney: K.  
  
Justin: WAIT! BRITNEY!  
  
Britney: Go sing something.  
  
Tom: HEY!! Alex, your not on break! Come back or your fired.  
  
Alex: Fine by me. I never wanted this stupid job.  
  
Narator: Alex and Britney got into Britney's Limo and drove away. Outside, Justin and Tom waves there hands angerly.  
  
Justin: I'll GET YOU BLUE HAIRED GIRLYMAN!!!  
  
Tom: His ass is mine, singerboy.  
  
Justin: Why are we fighting, when we can be conspirering against them.  
  
Tom: Yes........we shall get him.  
  
Justin/Tom: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.  
  
-Will Alex survive Justin and Tom's devious attack? Find out next time, on The Alex Chronicles: Alex vs The losers- 


	12. Misty adventure on a Shady night 2

The Alex Chronicles  
  
Misty Adventure on a Shady Night  
  
-S.Duck  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Mist, Shade, or anything else related to Golden Sun.  
  
S:Duck: You people wanted it? Well you got it. More of Mist and Shade.  
  
Ivanfanatic: Yay!  
  
Kyle: woo....  
  
S.Duck: What's wrong?  
  
Kyle: I'm just facing the honest truth that you no longer have any ideas for the main story so your adding another chapter to the spinoff.  
  
S.Duck: O.O'''''....  
  
Kyle: I mean, at least you could say what happens to Alex, Brittney, Tom and Justin.  
  
S.Duck: Well....I uh.....HEY LOOK! A MONKEY!!!!!  
  
Kyle: Please. I'm not gonna fall for tha-  
  
Monkey: OOK OOK!!!  
  
Kyle: OH CRAP!!!! I THINK IT HAS RABIES!!!!!  
  
S.Duck: I think we found another member of the Author Space.  
  
Ivanfanatic: The author space?  
  
S.Duck: HERE!  
  
Ivanfanatic: I thought we were in your house? In the basement/livingroom where your computer is.  
  
S.Duck: Man....you guys ruin my fun.  
  
Kyle: IT'S RIPPING OUT MY EYES!!!!  
  
S.Duck: Well, not ALL of you.  
  
Monkey: OOK OOK!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mist: (Ok, so what's your plan?)  
  
Shade: I'm still not telling.  
  
Mist: (Does it involve matches?)  
  
Shade: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe.  
  
Mist: (Your not burning down the zoo.)  
  
Shade: Awwwwww. Why not?  
  
Mist: (Because then all the other djinn would have to come live with us.)  
  
Shade: Good point. What do you suggest?  
  
Mist: (umm...............crap. I got nothin.)  
  
Shade: MATCHES IT IS!!!!  
  
Mist: (NO!!!)  
  
Shade: Your no fun.  
  
Mist: (Hold on, I got it.) Mr Park Manager?  
  
Park Manager: Huh?  
  
Mist: If you let me go, I'll give you all the bacon you can eat!  
  
Park Manager: Canadian or American?  
  
Mist: If I meant Canadian I woulda said ham.  
  
Park Manager: Good point eh?  
  
Narator: What's going on? The damn monkey ripped my eyes out. Oh well, I'll just make it up as I go. And so, the flamingo's danced, Mist was rescued, and they all ate canadian bacon for the rest of their lives. Then, the marker king appeared and blew up San Fransisco. Mist and Shade defeated him and went to Mc Donalds. The end.  
  
Shade: That's not what happened.  
  
Narator: Well what do you want from me? I'm friken blind now.  
  
Shade *wispering* you couldn't read them right anyway. What's so different now?  
  
Narator: What'd you say?  
  
Shade: Nothing.  
  
Narator: Oh yeah? Well I'll just look at the story online an- DAMMIT!  
  
Shade: Nyah Nyah.  
  
Narator: I'll Kill you!  
  
Shade: How will you if you can't see me?  
  
Narator: I can follow your voice.  
  
Shade: I'll just be quiet.  
  
Mist: That's impossible.  
  
Shade: Ok where'd you come from and why are you on his side.  
  
Mist: Turns out Mr Park Manager really like American Bacon.  
  
Shade: Ok, but why did you say "Thats impossible". My feelings were hurt.  
  
Mist: I'm a jerk.  
  
Shade: Grr....I'll squirt you!  
  
Mist: Go ahead and try!  
  
Towely: Don't forget to bring a towel!  
  
Shade: what the- Who the hell are you?  
  
Towely: I'm Towley, they talking towel! I go from here to there, tell people bout towels.  
  
Mist: Thats great...  
  
Shade: Now, if you'll excuse us-  
  
Towely: WAIT! If your gonna have a water fight, you should bring a towel in case you get wet...  
  
Mist: Uh....k?  
  
Shade Your neat. Wanna hang out?  
  
Towely: Sure!...............wanna get high?  
  
Mist: No.  
  
Towely: You sure?  
  
Mist: Yes.  
  
Towely: Ok....................you really sur-  
  
Mist: WE DON'T WANNA GET HIGH!!!  
  
Towely: Ok, well I'm gonna get high.  
  
Shade: So, what do you guys wanna do?  
  
Towely:.....do what?  
  
Shade: Huh?  
  
Towely: Huh?  
  
Shade: What?  
  
Towely: I have no idea whats goin on....  
  
Mist: I hate you author.  
  
And thus ends this chapter of A Misty Adventure on a Shadey Night  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
S.Duck: Ok folks, got somethin special for ya.  
  
Kyle: I have no idea whats goin on...  
  
S.Duck: Are you high?  
  
Kyle: No, the fricken mnkey still has my eyes.  
  
Monkey: OOK OOK!  
  
Kyle: I'M GONNA KILL YOU MONKEY!!!  
  
S.Duck: anyway... Some of you have been talking to me online, and telling me what I should add to the story. Well, Let me tell you that I like doing the story my way. That being said, I'm gonna have a little contest. Contact me on AIM (email only if you don't have AIM). Tell me your ideas, and I'll choose my three favorites and write them in one chapter. They won't be mixed, they'll all just be short chapters. Now, you aren't writing the chapter, your just telling me your ideas. If there is a certain part that you really want included, just tell me and I'll try to fit it in. Here is my new AIM: JDzero00  
  
I'm looking forward to hearing from you. 


	13. A Christmas with the cast

The Alex Chronicles  
-S.Duck  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Golden Sun.  
Alex: On this day of Christmas,  
Garet: We bring a poem to you.  
Felix: And hope you take it in your heart,  
Mia: And hold it tried and true.  
Alex: Now some of you believe in Santa,  
Shadow: Some of you do not.  
Garet: All I know is that Mrs. Clause, is really really hot.  
Tom: And while you open your presents,  
Issac: Like Cd's or a new car.  
Alex: Remember the simple things in life,  
Britney: And how big my boobs are.  
Felix: Some of you don't celebrate Christmas,  
Mia: And we think that is fine.  
Shadow: Just remember Rudolf will come and slap your fat behind.  
Garet: But remember that when shopping,  
Issac: To always watch your back,  
Tom: Or else the spirit of Kwanzaa will come and kick you in the sack.  
Alex: We kid we kid we kid.  
Garet: Or do we I don't know.  
Felix: We only hope you Holidays,  
Mia: Are covered up with snow.  
S.Duck: So whether your lighting a Mannora,  
Ivanfanatic: Or under a Christmas tree.  
Kyle: There's no one we'd rather wish  
Alex: A Happy Holiday's to than thee.  
All: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!  
  
S.Duck: Please, excuse my attrocious spelling. 


	14. Alex Vs American Idol

The Alex Chronicles  
  
By- The author formally known as S.Duck (now Blackscarf, and also JD in the fics)  
  
-Alex vs American Idol-  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything related to Golden Sun, or American Idol. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
JD: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Alex: GET BACK HERE!  
  
Garet: I GOT HIS LEGS!  
  
JD: LEMME GO! LEMME GOOOOOO!  
  
Alex: NEVER! Start updating again!  
  
JD: I can't help it...THE FIRE EMBLEM IS CALLING TO ME! It's..MY PRECIOUS!!!!!!  
  
Alex: SNAP OUT OF IT! *smack*  
  
JD:...oh. You did NOT. Just do that.  
  
Garet: I think he did.  
  
JD: I'LL KILL YOU!  
  
Alex: YIPE!  
  
Kyle: T.T...sorry for not updating for about a month folks.JD's been busy..  
  
JD: OH NO YOU DON'T! PUT THAT DOWN! MY GAMEBOY IS NOT MENT TO TOSSED AROUND LIKE THAT! *smash* O.O...fire emblem..NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!  
  
Alex: Uh oh.  
  
Garet: ...RUN!  
  
JD: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!  
  
Ivanfanatic: Uh...let's get things started huh?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ryan Sycrest: Hello, and welcome to the next American Idol. The competition show's promise this year, as most of our contestants can threaten the judges with magic powers. Ok, lets see our first contestant, his name is Alex...no last name given.  
  
Alex: Hello, I'm Alex, and I'm from another world.  
  
Ryan: Wow, looks like some people are really traveling to get here today.  
  
Randy: Ok, and what are you going to sing for us today?  
  
Alex: I'm going to sing Pinch Me by the Barenaked Ladies.  
  
Paula: Ok, go ahead.  
  
Alex: It's the perfect time of year..somewhere far away from here..I feel fine enough I guess...considering everything's a mess..there's a resteraunt down the street...where hungry people like to eat..I could walk but I'll just drive...It's colder than it looks outside.  
  
Randy: Ok, that's enough. Paula?  
  
Paula: I thought it was good. I love the hair, and you got that evil tone to your voice. I say yes. Randy?  
  
Randy: Yeah, basically everything she said. Yes for me.  
  
Simon: I thought you were terrible. I mean, they must be out of their minds. I've heard better singers, in gay bars.  
  
Randy/Paula/Alex: O.O;..  
  
Simon: ...IT'S AN EXPRESSION!  
  
Randy: Well, welcome to American Idol.  
  
Alex: Thank you.  
  
Ryan: Alright, and that was Alex. Next up, we have a duet between a Mr. Felix and a Mr. Garet.  
  
Randy: And what will you guys be singing?  
  
Garet: If I had a Million Dollars.  
  
Paula: Ok, go ahead.  
  
Garet/Felix: *sing If I had a Million Dollars*  
  
Randy: Ok, well. I thought you were good. I say yes.  
  
Paula: Wonderful. We'd be glad to have you on.  
  
Simon: Terrible. Absolutly- AHHHHH!  
  
Garet: YEAH! YOU LIKE THAT?! HOW ABOUT SOME MORE! FLARE!!!!!!  
  
Simon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!.............that sucked..that flare could have been...much better...you sucky bastard..  
  
Ryan: Ok, I think that Simon was a bit..FLAMING there..if ya know what I mean. Anyway, next up is Ivan Hammet.  
  
Ivan: Hello. I'm Iva- EWWWWW!  
  
Randy: What?  
  
Ivan: I just read Simon's mind! DISGUSTING!  
  
Simon: I have no idea what your talking about.  
  
Ivan: Yeah whatever. Just stay away from me...  
  
Simon: Huh?  
  
Ivan: I KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING! YOU WANNA MOLEST ME!!!!  
  
Simon: That. Is absurd.  
  
Ivan: Yeah whatever dude.I'm outta here.  
  
Simon: WAIT! Don't ya wanna sing for me- I mean.us?  
  
Ivan: AHHHHHH!!!!!!! *runs*  
  
Ryan: Ok, that was Ivan Hammet. Too bad, looks like he didn't win. And another thing. I'm retarded. See you next time folks. 


End file.
